Write to be yourself
It’s hard to know where to start.
I haven’t written, just to write, for a long time.
I write for an online magazine with a deadline and a theme.
I wrote my book and I edit it, knowing I can never make it say exactly what I feel. It’s an imperfect telling of my story, and it’s what I have within me right now.
I write for work—trying to say what others need but still in a way that is engaging and imaginative and true.
All of the writing has made my time sparse with a page that’s free of any agenda.
As my days close and I notice the knots in my shoulders have started to tighten and the whir of my thoughts makes it difficult to fall asleep, I start to wonder about greatness.
It’s an elusive idea that has always enticed me. I’m inspired by great authors and thinkers and activists…not just because they move me, but because I long to speak truth that way too.
What if I’m not destined to be great?
A lot of what I’ve started doing—shopping my book around to agents, tracking my readability through Red Tent Living, marking and perfecting “writer’s themes” that resonate—it all feels tied to an end goal of…status or recognition.
I don’t want to rely on a platform to affirm that my story matters.
I want to live and write the same way regardless of how many people notice.
Maybe that's why I'm finally ready for a fresh blog: a clean slate for a voice I hope to keep honest, more committed to my heart than anyone else's.